Social Circle Game Task: Create Prized Venues

As you start going out more, you’ll want to take time to invest in building a couple prized venues. A prized venue is a place where you have been to regularly and know a majority of the working staff. Prized venues serve a number of purposes, and in a social circle mastery context, have the capability of making it much easier to meet new people. Ideally, you will want to setup two types of prized venues; one where you go to meet new people, and another where you bring girls to for dates.

Prized Venues to Meet New People
Your first focus should be setting up a prized venue at a bar or club where you can regularly meet new people. In general, you and the friends in your social tree should scope out a place that regularly serves the types of people you are interested in dating and becoming friends with. For the most part, these venues will typically include larger bars and clubs, some of which may have a “meatmarket” feel. Regardless of your preference, aim to find a place that caters to a large volume of people, as your goal is to expand your social circle and meet new friends.

Prized Social Circle Venues for Dates

The second type of prized venue is one you would use for dates. Unlike the prized venue you use to meet people, the place you use for dates should be much more laid-back and typically smaller in size. It definitely does not need to be somewhere that is trendy and difficult to get into, and you will generally want to pick a place that is near your home (for obvious reasons). The prized venue you use for dates can also be the place where you and the people in your social tree go out to just relax and decompress.

The Food Chain of Social Circle Mastery Prized Venues

Once you’ve scoped out locations to develop as your prized venues, most of your legwork will be in getting to know the various levels of staff. You generally want to work your way up the food chain:


Door Staff: The door staff is generally the first set of people you’ll get to know. When you are in line for the venue, take the opportunity to practice building rapport and transitioning with the door staff. At a high-end location, getting to know the people who work the door can be vital towards getting into the venue on a regular basis. Plus, people notice when you’re able to cut the line.


Bartenders: You generally want to get to know the bartenders on a first name basis. A good way of doing this is to tip very well for your first drink every time you go. Having the bartenders provide you special attention can make all your isolations for shots more impactful, especially if the bartenders are hired guns.


Promoters: Depending on the city you live in, promoters may be the controlling factor in your city’s mainstream nightlife (such is the case in Los Angeles). In these cities, getting friendly with the promoters can mean easy entrance into the best


venues, free access to tables and a consistent entourage of pretty girls to party with. However, since promoters are constantly meeting new people (their livelihood depends on their ability to bring the party), they tend to be very flaky, and in many cases, extremely difficult to get sticky with.


Manager: Once you’re able to start introducing others to the bar manager (especially at a high-end place), your perceived value in the venue begins to skyrocket. It will suddenly become easier to meet others within the venue, and you will notice girls eyeing you and your friends more consistently.


Owner: The highest level of staff you’re able to befriend is the owner himself. Knowing the owner provides access too all of the perks above, as well as the general prestige of knowing the guy who runs the show.

Developing Prized Venues to Meet New People
At the lower levels of the food chain (doorstaff, bartenders), the key to building relationships is being able to build interesting rapport. Most of this level of staff are generally neglected and used only for their services. As such, it’s refreshing when someone remembers them by their first name and can bring a few moments of good conversation.


Even if you have a great memory, take notes of the things you talked about with the various staff members, and focus on covering as many unique topics as possible. Then the next time you go to the venue, review your notes, and when you see a particular staff member, reference something you two spoke about the last time you met. This is probably to fastest way to forge a connection with members of the staff.


The higher up the chain you go (and depending on how trendy the venue is), you will typically need to bring more value in order to develop a sticky relationship. In most cases, especially for promoters, bringing attractive girls from your extended social network to the venue is enough to get you going. You will find that having these girls as part of your extended social tree tends to make all levels of social circle mastery significantly easier.


Initially attending the venue as regularly as possible will also build a significant amount of goodwill with all levels of the food chain. The various levels of staff, from the door person all the way up to the owner appreciates steady clientele, and even the hottest bars and night clubs have their pool of “regulars.” Being slated as a regular can also make getting into the venue on a consistent basis much easier.

Developing Prized Social Circle Venues for Dates
Developing a prized venue for dates is much less cumbersome. Since there usually isn’t the concern about getting in, it is typically much easier to get to know all levels of the staff. All you really need to focus on is initially attending the venue on a somewhat consistent basis, and striking up interesting conversation with as many members of the staff as possible. By doing this, you are bound to meet and develop friendships with most of the workers.


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Setup Your Pad for Social Circle Game Success

As you develop your social circle and fine tune your social circle game, you will want to start having people over regularly. Your home, whether you like it or not, is an extension and reflection of who you are. And while it may not be absolutely necessary to have a decked out home to help you maximize points with women in your social circle, it sure doesn’t hurt. Moreover, if you’re serious about building your social circle to its maximum potential, you will eventually want to have your home serve as one of the hubs for your social tree. Realize that if your place is the usual pre-party or after-party spot, you will with out a doubt meet more people. This is why I recommend moving to a place as close to the action in your city as possible. If your place is a 40 min drive from where everyone goes out, it is unlikely people in your social circle will ever want to pre or post party there. You could have the biggest mansion in the world, but it would never trump a 2 bed room apartment a block away from the action.


Having an well put together home will not only help your social circle game, but also has spillover effects into your game as a whole. For instance, girls you bring home will feel more comfortable in a well kept home, and the thin slice you get from girls you take on dates is better (side note: whenever you take a girl on a date, you should have her come up to your place for at least a few minutes so she can visualize where she will be going later if she decides to come up after the date).


Having a nice home does not mean you have to be living in a mansion or in a gated community. It just means the interior of your home is well kept, and that it doesn’t look like a dirty frat house (unless of course, you’re in college and live in a frat house). Most girls would agree that a modest but “cool” apartment is more appealing than a mansion with a sloppy or empty interior.

There are four key elements that go into having a home that is guest-friendly:

Seating: Make sure there is enough seating. You do not need one seat for everyone person that’s coming over, but as long as at least half of the people over aren’t forced to stand, you are fine. While chairs work, consider couches, which are more laid-back, along with futons and possibly even beanbags.

Music: You’ll want to have an updated playlist with party music and laid-back music. You don’t necessarily need a 12-speaker sound system. An iPod player or a set of decent computer speakers will work just fine. To find up to date music, visit the website of your local Top 40’s radio station, and there should be a section with songs that the station regularly plays. From there, procure the music however you see fit or use a site like Pandora which has playlists ready.

Drinks: For pre-parties, the bare minimum you want to have is beer, hard alcohol and chasers (i.e. orange juice, soda, Redbull). Ideally though, it’s best to make a fun drink for the evening. Invest in a blender and for your hard alcohol and chasers, opt for tequila/rum and margarita/pina-colada mixers (with ice cubes and coconut shavings), and you’re in for a fun night. Alternatively, you could create jugs of party drinks such as jungle juice or scorpion bowls. The idea is to do something slightly different from the norm, which will go a surprisingly long way. Having drinks on hand “just in case” is a good idea. You would be surprised how many times people randomly decide to come over and being drink less kills your social circle game.

Bathrooms: Make sure your bathroom is immaculate. Few things will gross a girl out more than a disgusting bathroom. Make sure your toilet is clean and unstained, and that you have a full stock of toilet paper. Also make sure the bathtub/shower is clean, with no noticeable mold of gunk growing anywhere – girls look!

Social Circle Game Task: Host Events

Once you get the ball rolling on laying the foundations for your social tree, it’s a good idea to start integrating yourself as a focal point in your developing social circle. The best way to do this is through hosting events either by using your place as a hub, or by initiating outings amongst your friends.

Using your Place as a Hub
The easier of the two is to use your place as a hub. Essentially, your aim is to have your home be a regular location for certain events. For instance, your apartment could be a pre- party meeting point, a place for after-parties, or where you and the guys meet up to watch Monday night football.


Another option is to host one-off events at your house. This could range from a laid-back Fourth of July barbeque to a full-blown Friday night pool party. In this case, you’re looking to associate yourself with fun times, while having the opportunity to be in the spotlight, and to showcase the cool sides of your personality. Remember, time + shared experiences = relationships.


Regardless of the event, turning your home into a central meeting point amongst your social tree will significantly increase the stickiness you have amongst your friends, and will further root you in with the tree itself. This holds particularly true if you are joining a pre-existing tree instead of starting a new one from ground zero.

Initiating Outings
If you choose to follow the path of initiating outings for your social circle, you are essentially taking on the role of a social connector. As such, you will be responsible for figuring out where the good places to go on which nights are, and then subsequently working to get your friends out. This is fun but can be stressful and time consuming.


The most challenging element of initiating outings for your social circle is managing everyone’s schedule and motivating everyone to go out. If you’re starting your social tree from scratch, this should be an easier job (as you’re all bound to be more fired up about going out), than it would be if you’ve joined a pre-existing tree.


This is important, the social repercussions of a failed or bad outing in a pre-existing tree are greater.

For you to take on this role you need: Prerequisite Stickiness in that social circle
In each of the above cases, you will need to make sure that you have the prerequisite stickiness to serve as host. That is, you have to be close enough to enough people in the social tree to ensure success. Again, this holds especially true if you are joining a pre-existing social tree. Without the prerequisite stickiness, the probability of flakes increases significantly. For instance, if someone you and your friends met a week ago tried to get you all to come out to a certain venue on Friday night, there is a good chance meeting up with him wouldn’t be too high on anyone’s priority list.


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Social Circle Game Task: Set Ground Rules
One of the biggest benefits from starting a social tree from ground zero, besides being on equal footing with everyone in it, is having the opportunity to develop a set of ground rules. The ground rules and pre-framing that is setup from the start will go a long way in ensuring the sustainability and longevity of your social tree. The most common way for a social tree to implode is when small pet peeves and annoyances build up over time and reach a boiling point.


Additionally, setting ground rules also provides a great opportunity to highlight the things you like about the people in your new social tree. Each person will invariably have their strengths that benefit the group, and positive reinforcement is the best way to keep everyone doing what they do best.


Here are a few ground rules to consider during your meeting. Others might apply, but these are some concepts to help get the ball rolling:


Winging: If your social tree includes guys that have not studied game, it is particularly important to go over wing rules (you don’t have to use game terminology to get the points across). Essentially, explain the idea that he who goes up to the girls gets his first pick, and explain the general concept of how to wing in a set, and how not to steal the spotlight upon entering the group.


Off-Limits: Have a discussion on which girls are completely off limits. If you all live in an apartment building together, it might not be the best idea to get in relationships with the girls living down the hall, especially if they can serve as social connectors to a whole another network of hot girls. In your discussion, include friends, sisters, ex’s and whoever else you would not particularly want your friends hooking up with.


Boundaries: It’s a good idea to quickly go over the things that each of you can’t stand, as well as other small things that annoy you. Many times, the things that annoy you may not be an issue for someone else and vice verse. By having a clear understanding of everyone’s likes and dislikes, it’ll help tremendously in navigating through your interactions amongst each other.


Non-Judgment: No one likes to be judged. Setup a frame so that future conversations within your social tree regarding the quality of girls you guys interact with are lighthearted. While it may be the dream to pull 10s on a nightly basis, it is inevitable that not every girl you go after will be the hottest on the planet. That said, there should be a collective effort to push each other outside of your respective comfort zones, and to push the boundaries on the quality of girls you all typically go after.


Game: If you and all your friends are aware of game, it could easily become the only subject you guys talk about. Instead, make some sort of loose rule, which limits the amount of game talk you and your friends partake in. The last thing you want is for game to be the one and only discussion point within you social tree. While game may be a big part of your life, it should not be your life.

Social Circle Game Task: Fall into the LJBF Zone a Few Times

When you’re starting out, you should realize the importance and opportunity that comes with falling into the let’s just be friends (LJBF) zone. While it might be irritating if you have been pursuing a particular girl for a period of time, or if you’re out on a cold-approach crusade, but falling into the LJBF zone is not always a bad thing.

Cold-Approaching to Make Friends
While it may suck to lose girls to the friend zone (typically a symptom of not enough physical/verbal escalation and sexualization), when you’re in the process of building your social circle, it may not actually be a bad idea. In fact, it is a good idea to go out a few nights a week with the primary goal of cold-approaching to make new friends.


Believe it or not, most girls do not typically go out with as strong of an agenda as most guys, and are open to the idea of meeting new friends. Hence, if you and the core group of guys you hang out with come off as cool, funny and interesting, there is definitely a possibility that the girls would want to hang out with you all in the future.

Making Friends vs. Getting Laid
When you’re cold-approaching to make friends, your standards are slightly different than they might be if you were cold-approaching to get laid.


Social Connectors: Social connectors, or individuals who are connected to networks of many others, are the best type of people you can meet throughout the night. Keep in mind that social connectors do not necessarily have to be attractive, since it is many times the case where less attractive guys and girls oftentimes have many hot friends. It is important to note that the social connectors do not necessarily have to be girls either.

Group Theory: In this context, you’re going to want to spend more time ingratiating the group, instead of focusing on just picking out one target. More importantly, when you open the group, instead of narrowing down and isolating your conversation to the girl you’re most attracted to, refocus your attention on the person in the group (guy or girl), that seems to be either the leader or the most social.

Framing: If you do get isolated with a social connector, make an effort to frame yourself into the friend zone so there is no confusion as to your intentions. Examples of doing this include telling her about you great friend “John” who would be a perfect match for her.

Meet-ups: When you go for the meet up in the future, send invites under the frame that you and your friends are going out, and that she and her friends should come meet you guys. If you’re actively spending a few nights a week cold-approaching to make friends, you can easily send out such an invite to at least a couple groups a week.


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Social Circle Game Task 1: Get to know the Neighborhood

Whether you live in a big city or suburbia, it is a good idea to familiarize yourself with a group of places near your residence. While you may not necessarily be going out on a Friday night with Lou from the neighborhood bakery, familiarizing yourself with the local businesses does a number of things for you.


Social Proof: If you ever take a girl out somewhere, it’s pretty cool to seemingly know everyone you come in contact with. So while your relationship with Lou may not seem to be intrinsically “valuable” in itself, the fact that you know Lou, and everybody else in the neighborhood, speaks about the type of person you are and your overall personality.


Cold-Approach Opportunity: If you are at one of your regular spots and happen to see a cute girl, cold approaching her after receiving recognition for the people that work there will help your cause significantly. By knowing the workers, much of the creep factor is removed, and the friendly reactions from the workers (especially if they know you on a first name basis), will transfer over to her reaction towards your approach.


Building State: When you’re going out at night, your night should actually begin in the afternoon. Going from not interacting with anyone all day to jumping into a social setting can seem like going from relaxing in a sauna to being thrown in a tub of ice. On he other hand, if you pepper in interactions throughout your day, by the time the evening comes around, you will find yourself in more of a social mood and ready to meet girls you actually care about.


Easy Practice: As we teach in our bootcamps, the ability to build and sustain normal, organic rapport is essential to becoming better at meeting women (and people in general). A large majority of this skill set is universal to all interactions, and as they say, practice makes perfect. By having short conversations with the locals, you develop your “conversational muscle” and have the opportunity to work on the fine art of rapport building and transitioning.


So how do you do it? It’s simple: Live your day the way you normally would, but search for opportunities to meet and interact with others. So when Sam behind the coffee counter asks you how your day is going, instead of replying with the usual “fine,” elaborate and try and build conversation with him. You’ll be surprised how many cashiers, workers, store clerks and waitresses are open to conversation.


Most of these workers will find it refreshing that someone is actually interacting with them beyond simply replying to boring questions out of social obligation. Treat the ones that are colder as yellow lights, and make it a challenge for yourself to see if you can convert them to greens. It’ll serve as a great lesson and practice on how to plow through a cold exterior to open someone up.

Social Circle Game Task 2: Develop a Social Routine

Get involved in your community in terms of living an active lifestyle and seeking out things to do. It still surprises me how many people spend a majority of their free time at home. When you’re starting out, your home should primarily be a place of rest, not where you lounge around all day “relaxing.” With a little effort, you’d be surprised at how much you can discover to do in your hometown (even if you live in suburbia).


Fill Your Days: If you’re spending a majority of your free time at home on the computer, you’re not filling your days. Realize that life is too short, and we already spend 25% of it sleeping, so when we’re not, focus on living it. While we all need alone time and time to relax, don’t use relaxing as an excuse for laziness and inactivity. A good gauge to measuring the productivity of your day is by how tired you are come bedtime. If you are collapsing into your sheets as opposed to going to bed as force of habit, you probably aren’t doing enough with your day.


Create an Active Routine: Fuse your personal activities to social settings. For instance, if cardio workouts are an important part of your life, consider trading daily outdoor running with a few cardio classes at your local gym. Instead of sitting in front of the TV all evenings of the week after work, sign-up for improv classes, salsa lessons etc… And while you’re attending these programs, start looking for opportunities to build a social network.


Do not treat the people you meet in these classes as cold-approach targets. The beauty of a string of classes is that you know you will see the same people over and over again. Instead, cultivate a good relationship, and focus more on the friends and social circle aspect of the people you meet. And if you find a girl you’re really attracted to, still remember to play it slow. In this case, time is on your side.


One-Off Opportunities: Explore as many one-off opportunities as you can. In most metropolitan cities, there is an endless supply of music festivals, carnivals, food festivals, parades etc… that come through. It is much easier to meet people in these environments, as everyone tends to be in a festive and happy mood. If you choose to day game at these activities, that’s fine, but keep yourself open to the possibility of fostering relationships for your social circle mastery purposes.


Become a Master of Your Domain: Many people live blindly in the cities they reside in. Wherever you are, there is bound to be a weekly local publication detailing the events and things to do in your city (in the US, some of these publications include The Metro, L.A. Weekly, The New Yorker, etc…). The point is to get familiar with things you can do in your city. As you explore, you’ll begin to cultivate locations to take girls on dates as well.


As you begin to build an active routine, and if you make an effort to be social whenever possible, you’d be surprised how friends start to naturally seep into your life. Remember to be proactive though, no amount of activities in the world will help you if you keep to yourself everywhere you go.

Social Circle Game Task 3: Strength in Numbers

While your journey to building your social circle may start solo, you will invariably need to find a core group of friends, or a “social tree,” that you can call your own. Essentially, your social tree should include you and a few other like-minded individuals with similar goals and social aspirations.


Depending on your situation, it might be easier to start a new social tree fresh instead of attempting to merge your way into an existing one. The benefits of starting your own social circle is that you have the opportunity to lay ground rules from the start, and each person in it is viewed as an equal. On the other hand, the benefit of joining a pre-existing social circle is that if it’s good, all the groundwork is done and you instantly link yourself to an entire network of people.


A core social tree of 4-5 people is ideal. Keep in mind it is not necessary for everyone to be studied in game. In fact, if everyone does know about game, you’ll likely have to set up ground rules so that your social circle doesn’t turn into a “game den”. That is, instead of viewing your social tree as an assault team whose sole purpose is to pick-up women, you want to have the mentality that you’re all friends that are just focused on making the most out of life and on having a good time.


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ADD VALUE TO CONNECTORS

– whether perceived or real. Realize that you may have to give 10 or 100 times the value they give for a while. Realize that you may have to spend 10 to 100 times the amount of time adding value to them compared to the time they spend adding value to you. However, it is totally worth it in the long run, because of what they can add to your life. The value they give you will be worth all that extra energy that you put in.

Social networking is NOT just small talk

– it is about offering a value trade. It includes small talk but is more the identification of how each person can add value to the other person.


Ask yourself are you a value connector, a social connector, a social dead end, or just completely neutral connector where you don’t offer or take value? Be honest with yourself without being negative. Just be honest so you can get a jump off point.


Knowing where you are at currently will help you decide where to go from here.


If you are new to all this or new to a city, don’t think, “I must go for the highest level connectors in my city right away.” Start where you are at. Get social, join classes, find a few people to start going out with. Learn the ropes of your city and just get in the fire fight. You can always change your strategy later, but for now just get going. Trying to become friends with a club owner who doesn’t know you will look try hard. Build a network first and eventually you will meet other connectors who already have a relationship with guys like him and you can get natural organic shared experiences with other connectors and let the relationship build over numerous encounters instead of you trying to jam some value in their face and force a relationship that isn’t ready to grow.

-Braddock

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How Being Sticky Works on a Practical Level in Social Circle Game:

Some of the following assumes you’ve read my book “The Ultimate Guide to Phone and Text Game.” The more attraction you have when you met, the more personalized the medium you can use for reconnection. The longer the fuse, the less personalized the communication you want to use. For example, you can call a short fuse anytime, but with a long fuse (for scm purposes a long fuse is a girl you have little or no stickiness with), you might just want to PING them by writing something funny on their Facebook wall every once and a while; this keeps you on their radar but also keeps you from over reaching. NEVER DO TO MUCH IF YOU AREN’T STICKY! If you do, you are missing the entire point of social circle game and might as well just cold approach.


The difference between a long fuse and a short and/or medium fuse in social circle game is that you have become STICKY, she remembers you, and/or opens you. This typically means that you have migrated into her top 15-30. As stated above, in marketing it is common knowledge that you need exposure 6-8 times before you become sticky, so why would your social life be any different? The goal is to burn down the fuses from long to short by pinging and slowly getting sticky.


Get on their radar and look for situations where you can get multiple encounters via friends, NOT FROM FIRST HAND INVITES TO HER FROM YOU. This is so that you get sticky.


If you are slightly on a girls radar in your distant social circle you can ping her, just keep it very light for as long as it takes to burn down the fuse and become more sticky. The longer the fuse is the less you want to personalize. With medium fuses Facebook and pinging are a great way to flirt. Your Facebook profile or sending value giving texts provide great passive attraction.

Don’t Create Unnecessary Y’s in the road: “Yes or NO” = bad early.
Meaning forcing her into a yes or no situation. “Do you want to go on a date?” Is an example of a y in the road. If you are sticky this could be fine. If you are not? This is not proactive.


Keep in mind that in Social Circle game you only want to escalate only when she is ready, and not take any longer than necessary. Every time you escalate, there is a Y in the road and she has to decide whether you are worthy of that escalation. In social circle if you ask her on a date when she is not ready she will likely say no, because she knows she will probably see you again, and if the date goes poorly that will create a lot of awkward moments. However, forcing her to verbalize the “No” make you lose a ton of value in her eyes and you have created the frame that you are the pursuer and she is the prizer. You will be playing from behind from now on and you have created a tough up hill battle that could have been avoided with patience.


With cold approach you need to constantly be pushing because there are no negative consequences if things go poorly on her part if things go poorly and on your part if you don’t push hard enough you may never see her again. Social circle game is not like that. You are playing for the long term, building your value in eyes over time and acting when the timing is perfect.


-Braddock

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Social Circle Mastery: The Basics

 
‘Social Circle Mastery’ is the foundation of “next generation” pick up and dating techniques. It takes us beyond relying only on “cold approach” to meet women and enhance your social life. It has several purposes – to make it easier to meet and seduce “10s” and also to better manage your social life in general and to understand the social dynamics that affect any group situation, such as school or work.

COLD APPROACH VS. SOCIAL CIRCLE Mastery

Most dating in today’s society is done through social circles. On the other hand, cold approach in society is done by naturals as a hobby because their sub- communications are strong due to their social circle status. A lot of guys start down the cold approach path because they are trying to break out of their position within their current social circle, entirely change their social circle, or have recently moved or graduated and have no social circle.

As we discussed in in part one of this series, there are many key differences between Social Circle Mastery and Cold Approach. For example, you would NEVER use routines in Social Circle Mastery because you could quickly burn down the social circle and ruin your name and any chances of dating the women in that circle. Also, physical escalation is much different in your social circles, for example you wouldn’t want to do anything above playful touching in public because of the potential social consequences. This is discussed in great detail in the Social Circle Mastery DVD set.

KEY TERMS FROM THE SOCIAL CIRCLE MASTERY DVD:

Tipping Point: the straw that breaks the camel’s back. A small change that makes a big difference. Introducing/removing certain people in your life may make a huge difference by causing a tipping point in how big and the quality of your social circle.

Thin slicing: “a snapshot judgment” or your first impression. Your frontal cortex grabs all of your memories that are similar to the person, personality type, situation and within the first few seconds of an interaction with something new your brain categorizes it with what you have previously experienced. You control how other people thin slice you, so a good impression puts you ahead. (This may seem random, but Braddock cross pollinates this throughout the DVD set so it’s an important term to keep in mind.

Warm Approach: You passively have value (because of the brand you have created within your social circle), women observe how other men and women in your social circle respond to you and women want you to approach them and will be receptive. As stated in part 1 of this series, when you have warm approaches you can open by simply saying, “Hi I’m Nick”. This is one of the most powerful things this course teaches. If you can master this, your dating life will never be the same. Cold approach you have no value built in and they are not necessarily inviting you/want you to approach.

PART 1: THE STRUCTURE OF YOUR SOCIAL CIRCLE

TYPES OF CONNECTIONS
Let’s quickly rehash the key players in case you didn’t read or understand what I meant in the first part of this series. These are the basic building blocks that will help with the more advanced concepts.

First, let’s define two terms or different types of people: ‘social dead ends’ and ‘connectors’. A social dead end is someone who adds no value to your life and generally brings you down – usually through things like negativity, inability to progress, or disinterest in evolving as a person, bad social skills with men and women. Many people who go through the exercises at the beginning of our Social Circle Mastery DVD recognize some of these behaviors in themselves. Human beings are imperfect so don’t take it personal or beat yourself up if you do. Simply use that as a jump off point and start getting rid of those behaviors.

A connector (Social Circle Mastery’s use of this term is inspired by Malcolm Gladwell in THE TIPPING POINT, though obviously Braddock changed it to apply to dating science instead of to societal trends). There are actually a couple of different kinds of connectors.

A social connector is someone who has a particular and rare set of social skills. They are CRUCIAL to Social Circle Mastery. Social connectors belong in multiple social circles and introduce people to other people all the time. They are really good at networking and their juice in life is talking to people. Their currency is people. Introduce new people to that person. When you meet them, don’t be in their pocket all night long. When you first start hanging out with them it’s key that you don’t make them baby sit at parties and social gatherings.

Don’t over game in their social circles and don’t bring drama either. Be fluid and low maintenance with them because that is how they operate and treat others. Don’t hold them to a schedule. Be 60% interested and 40% interesting. They will be the glue of your social circle. Every 40- 50 man social circle is glued together by one or two people; these people are one of the keys to Social Circle Mastery.

A ‘value connector’ is a bit different and plays a different role in Social Circle Mastery. Such a person may be social – and is likely to be – but it doesn’t matter if s/he is a recluse. A value connector has access to scarce resources, where a social connector “only” has access to different social networks. A value connector may be a doorman or promoter who can get you into a hot venue. S/he might have access to parties, events, premieres, famous people, and so on. This gives you value as well, one step removed. To gain the respect of value connectors you have to bring independent value to them. Braddock goes into great detail on how to meet and bond with value connectors in the Social Circle Mastery DVD set.

Ultimate connectors are people who are both social connectors and value connectors.

Social dead ends are people who hurt your thin slice. In the Social Circle Mastery DVD Braddock says there are two general types: either they are behind-the-curve dorky and quiet, or they are value thieves. Value thieves are people who act differently when it’s just you and when there are girls around and proactively game your girl behind your back. CUT THESE PEOPLE OUT OF YOUR LIFE.

The better you get at Social Circle Mastery, the bigger your social circle will become and you can start to lower the threshold for what you will put up with and what you won’t. At this point you can quickly recognize and trim toxic people. A concept well covered in the Social Circle Mastery DVD.

Of course, we’re not talking about using people or a mercenary approach to friendship. Most connectors are interesting, positive and passionate people who inspire others around them. Surrounding yourself with high-value people will motivate you to make the best of your life as opposed to surrounding yourself with people whose own failings, insecurities and need to protect their ego justifies settling for the familiar and the routine. To paraphrase Napoleon Hill in his book THINK AND GROW RICH, when you hang around people who are excellent, you become excellent yourself.

The moral of the story, according to Braddock in Social Circle Mastery, is that you must “Be the CEO of you” (Brian Tracey). The people of your life are like little LLCs, you have to manage them.

THE POWER OF FIFTEEN: THE MAKEUP OF YOUR SOCIAL CIRCLES
Most people’s social lives can be mapped to a series of concentric circles. There is an innermost “core” of one or two close friends. Then comes an inner core of another 3-5 people and an outer core of another 5-15 people. These aren’t arbitrary numbers – this is how the human mind subconsciously qualifies social relationships.

Doing both the academic and the real-world research to come up with that must have been a pain for Braddock, but it’s an important concept. Social Circle Mastery says that the people in these cores comprise of the people who most influence your life. It has been said that ‘you are the average of the 5 people that you hang around the most’. This is partially true, but it is more accurate to say what Social Circle Mastery states, that most people are influenced by up to 15 people at a time, as different relationships ebb and flow in intensity.

To truly be great at Social Circle Mastery, managing your core is crucial. Your objective should be to fill your core as much as possible with connectors. They should bring value to you and you need to bring value to them. Social Circle Mastery states that your inner core (2 – 5 people), determines quality of women you will be around, you have to give real value to this core. Your (15 – 1000 people) outer core, determines quantity of women.

Understanding that last Social Circle Mastery concept about the inner and outer cores will have an massive impact on your dating life. One of the insights from Social Circle Mastery is that women will judge you based on your friends. This is true for cold approach (if you are around fun, cool people and are the life of the party, you are immediately more attractive) and even more for longer-term relationships, since most women are interested in the social life and opportunities that you bring to her.

On a more advanced level of understanding of the Social Circle Mastery DVD’s concepts, when you are introduced through friends to other friends, your pre-existing alliances often determine your social value and your relative value to the person to which you are being introduced. Don’t go saying “I don’t want to play that game”. As Braddock says, “Beautiful women are hyper-conscious of social value.”

The key principle about how to create a strong inner core is to bring value to peoples’ lives and they will bring value to yours. Braddock says you should work hard on becoming a connector and have other connectors in your life. If all the slots in your top fifteen are filled with negative people who don’t offer value or exhibit forward momentum in their own lives, then you might need to reassess the role that they play in yours. You can have friends you like and care about who don’t help you meet your goals in life, but these should not be the only friends you have.

The Social Circle Mastery DVD’s state that your top three cores (the approximately 15 most present people in your life) determine your social success –in terms of:
(a) social status
(b) life orientation
(c) at least some degree life success. You can’t expect to fill these spaces with people who can’t help you reach your goals and then complain that these goals are out of reach.

SOCIAL CIRCLE INITIAL INSIGHTS

With the concepts of connectors, social dead ends, and trees as a foundation, we can get into some of the deeper insights and strategies. Additionally, Braddock wants you to think of Social Circles as something you can manage, indeed master, as opposed to taking a purely passive approach about who ends up in your life.

An exercise Braddock asks you to do in the Social Circle Mastery DVD is this: Think about your social relationships in terms of cores and trees. Map them out on paper. Ask yourself who is a social connector, who is a value connector (some people may be both) and who is a dead end. What is missing from your social life? Who might you want to cultivate? Are you bringing value to the connectors in your life?

Just by asking yourself these sorts of questions, you will already be taking a giant leap forward over most men.

Now that you have a good foundational understanding of Social Circle Mastery basics, in the articles to come we will dig deeper and deeper into this life changing course. While I will do my best to do justice to Braddock’s Social Circle Mastery concepts, you really must watch the DVD’s again and again to really understand as he goes into greater depth than I could ever do justice in these short articles.

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Understanding how Social Trees affect Social Circle Mastery

Even social trees are relative in value to each other. For example, having a high position on a certain low value social tree (e.g. the leader of two geeky guys who each have no friends) is not as socially valuable as having a low position on a high-value social tree (e.g., the celebrity hanger-on who occasionally gets to sleep with beautiful fans). That being said, Social Circle Mastery teaches you that it is always advisable to be amongst the top of at least one tree. If you are constantly at the bottom of all trees than you will never enjoy the high quality women who date guys who are the leaders of these trees. You don’t have to be the leader of the tree you meet her in, but you must be able to bring her into a situation in the future where she sees that you are respected and cared about in a tree. This could simply be bringing her around your roommate or close buddies. That is more than enough as long as they respect you and treat you well.



One practical use of this Social Circle Mastery principle is on dates, which we often plan so that she can see you in a social environment in which you’re up at the top of the social tree (e.g., you’re throwing a party, so you invite her to come with you).

Proper Social Circle Tree Management Creates Warm Approaches

One of the best things you will learn from the Social Circle Mastery DVD’s is that the more interconnected you are with a tree, the more you can warm approach. Warm Approach: You passively have value (possibly through your social circle), and women want you to approach them and will be receptive. You can open by simply saying, “Hi I’m Nick.” The less connected you are with a tree, the more it is like cold approach. Cold Approach You have no value built in and they are not necessarily inviting you/don’t necessarily want you to approach.



You can’t be the leader of all of the people in all of the trees, but you want to be in a group of 3-4 guys who are highly respected within the social circles and with whom you share a mutual respect for each other. Most likely each of you within your group will have different roles (eg. the funny guy, the business man, the organizer, social connector, etc…).

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4 People To Look For When Creating Social Circle Mastery

Social Dead Ends: take away value rather than creating it. Try to cut social dead ends out of your group. Like attracts like. If you fill your social circle with bad people, you will repel good people and keep attracting more bad people. When we say bad, we are not necessarily speaking of bad people who do illegal things or proactively try to hurt you. Those types of people should obviously be purged from your social circle. What we are talking about are the types of people who’s personalities repel people. They are hot girl repellant and offend or annoy guys you want to be friends with. Having one of these people with you all the time is like trying to drive a car across the country with a 10,000 lbs boat anchor attached to your bumper. The Social Circle Mastery DVD covers how to figure out of you have any of these guys in your crew and how to handle them if you do.


Social Connector: is the type of person who knows everyone, is always on the phone, and is always on facebook. Every 40-50 man social circle is glued together by one or two people; these people are the social connectors. By adding a social connector you gain access to their network and can thus leverage one relationship into 40 or 50. These people are CRUCIAL for Social Circle Mastery success. If you can add a few of these guys to your inner circle your social circle can triple over night. Without these guys or girls you can be the coolest most interesting guy in the world and it won’t matter. You will basically be cold approaching or have a tiny social circle that never replenishes its self. The Social Circle Mastery DVD set covers how to find these social connectors and how to bring value to them so they want to be your friend.


Value Connector: is the type of person who has access to scarce resources such as hot girls, or exclusive venues. Girlfriends are often better social and value connectors than most guys. Guys are typically friends with guys and only have girl friends they are trying to date, where as girls are friends with girls.


Ultimate Connectors: are people who are both social connectors and value connectors.



When you start to make changes with your social circle by introducing social connectors, you will hit a tipping point with the number and quality of people you hang out with on a regular basis. Tipping Point: The straw that breaks the camel’s back. A small change that makes a big difference. Watch for that change, that way you will know you are on the right track and Social Circle Mastery is within your grasp. Once you have hit the tipping point, start focusing more on your interactions within the social groups as opposed to building your social network.

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