Friday, November 16, 2012
Social Circle Game Tactics: Getting Sticky:
One of the key concepts in the Social Circle Mastery DVD’s is the idea of “Getting Sticky.” This is an old marketing term and in the book, ‘The Tipping Point’, Malcolm Gladwell speaks of The Stickiness Factor as the specific content of a message that renders its impact memorable. To simplify if means that for you to remember a brand you need to see it 6 to 8 times before it’s “sticky” in your brain. This is crucial in social circle building because you may need to meet a new guy or girl anywhere from 1 to 8 times before you are “sticky” and they consistently remember you. Knowing this can help you relax and keep you from over reaching, feeling frustrated when girls don’t remember you right away, and keep you from trying to pull the trigger to fast. We don’t want to do anything until we are sticky. This could take 1 encounter, this could take 30. Doesn’t matter.
When are you sticky, how can you tell? You will know. When people start saying hi to you consistently, remember your name, specific things about you, girls hug you when they see you or go out of their way to say hi or ask you questions, you are sticky. Being sticky assumes a certain comfort level with each other and in the tribal sense it says, “He’s one of us.” Being sticky does not imply attraction at all. It simply means you are no longer a stranger and you are on their radar. You are no longer cold approaching! This is the crucial part of becoming sticky.
How Being Sticky Works on a Practical Level in Social Circle Game:
Some of the following assumes you’ve read my book “The Ultimate Guide to Phone and Text Game.” The more attraction you have when you met, the more personalized the medium you can use for reconnection. The longer the fuse, the less personalized the communication you want to use. For example, you can call a short fuse anytime, but with a long fuse (for scm purposes a long fuse is a girl you have little or no stickiness with), you might just want to PING them by writing something funny on their Facebook wall every once and a while; this keeps you on their radar but also keeps you from over reaching. NEVER DO TO MUCH IF YOU AREN’T STICKY! If you do, you are missing the entire point of social circle game and might as well just cold approach.
The difference between a long fuse and a short and/or medium fuse in social circle game is that you have become STICKY, she remembers you, and/or opens you. This typically means that you have migrated into her top 15-30. As stated above, in marketing it is common knowledge that you need exposure 6-8 times before you become sticky, so why would your social life be any different? The goal is to burn down the fuses from long to short by pinging and slowly getting sticky.
Get on their radar and look for situations where you can get multiple encounters via friends, NOT FROM FIRST HAND INVITES TO HER FROM YOU. This is so that you get sticky.
If you are slightly on a girls radar in your distant social circle you can ping her, just keep it very light for as long as it takes to burn down the fuse and become more sticky. The longer the fuse is the less you want to personalize. With medium fuses Facebook and pinging are a great way to flirt. Your Facebook profile or sending value giving texts provide great passive attraction.
Don’t Create Unnecessary Y’s in the road: “Yes or NO” = bad early.
Meaning forcing her into a yes or no situation. “Do you want to go on a date?” Is an example of a y in the road. If you are sticky this could be fine. If you are not? This is not proactive.
Keep in mind that in Social Circle game you only want to escalate only when she is ready, and not take any longer than necessary. Every time you escalate, there is a Y in the road and she has to decide whether you are worthy of that escalation. In social circle if you ask her on a date when she is not ready she will likely say no, because she knows she will probably see you again, and if the date goes poorly that will create a lot of awkward moments. However, forcing her to verbalize the “No” make you lose a ton of value in her eyes and you have created the frame that you are the pursuer and she is the prizer. You will be playing from behind from now on and you have created a tough up hill battle that could have been avoided with patience.
With cold approach you need to constantly be pushing because there are no negative consequences if things go poorly on her part if things go poorly and on your part if you don’t push hard enough you may never see her again. Social circle game is not like that. You are playing for the long term, building your value in eyes over time and acting when the timing is perfect.
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